Things that go 'pop'

Just a little explanation here about why I didn't post yesterday. I have a predisposition for medical drama. I suffer from a propensity to blow a lung ... also known as spontaneous pneumothorax.

Pneumothorax is most often caused by trauma to the chest, but I am in a category of lucky winners who get to experience this exciting treat 'just for fun.' People who are very tall, thin, and in their 20's-40's (and usually male) are likely to suffer from spontaneous pnuemothorax. So, see? You don't want to be built like that super model!

Here is a diagram of a pneumo:


You will notice that the lung on the left seems a little shy. This lung has just experienced a leak and is now squished by the air that escaped and got trapped inside the chest cavity. This does not feel good. When this happened to me the first time it felt like I'd received a round-house kick to the chest, Chuck Norris style. (By the way, did you know Chuck Norris sued NBC? Apparently Law and Order are the names of his right and left legs! Hah hah hah ... hah ... heh ... ahem ... yeah.)

When standing or sitting up-right, the trapped air rises to the top of the chest cavity, causing pain in the chest, shoulder, and even neck. Because of the reduced lung capacity, it is difficult to breathe. In my first experience my lung capacity was reduced by half, so every time I went from a standing to a laying position (or vice versa), I could feel the air moving inside me and my lung flapping about. Lovely, eh?

Now typically a person should go straight to the ER when experiencing a pneumo (as I lovingly refer to them) and get the air drained by a chest tube.

Don't worry, this is a dummy.
I'm not that flat-chested.

But, when mine happened in August of last year, we still had 15 days to go before our medical insurance kicked in. So I called my brother who had gone through this before (and who eventually had surgery). He remembered always getting a chest x-ray and going home, chest tube-less. Okay, I thought, I'll just stick it out at home and wait for it to go away since the ER would probably just x-ray me and send me home with a $15,000 bill.

Well ... I was flat on my back and in pain for almost two weeks. I finally had a bit of a nervous breakdown and went to a doctor recommended by our bishop. He paled when I told him about my pneumo and listened to my chest. He shook his head and yelled at me that I should NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN (avoid the ER). He then explained to me how a pneumothorax can turn into a tension pneumothorax - where the air pushes your lung into your heart and kills you.

He sent me to a pulmonologist (lung doc) for a chest x-ray and an evaluation. The lung doc scolded me too and then said I was lucky that I wasn't getting a chest tube that day. My pneumo had resolved enough that my lung capacity was now only reduced by 20%. And since my oxygen levels were good, I could go home.

Since then I have occasionally suffered 'nuisance pneumos' - where the leak is not great enough to warrant a chest tube. And I had one on Sunday afternoon. I've experienced them enough now to be able to tell when an ER visit is warranted and, luckily, this time it was not.

Part of me wishes that my lung would just go ahead and blow up Hollywood-style so I can get surgery to rectify the problem. The other part of me remembers what it felt like and what my brother went through with his surgery .... No thanks.

So that is my long-winded explanation of the drama that ensued Sunday afternoon and which prevented me from posting hee-laaaarious commentary on our day-to-day life.

If there is one thing that you learn from this post, it should be this:

DO NOT EVER, EVER, EVER MISS PRIMARY OR YOU WILL BE INFORMED THAT YOUR SUNBEAM CLASS IS IN CHARGE OF SHARING TIME NEXT WEEK AND, OH BY THE WAY, YOUR DAUGHTER IS GIVING A TALK THAT DAY TOO.

Learned your lesson? Me neither.