I wonder if you have considered the repercussions of advertising your new Brownie Batter Blizzard and then closing all your Dairy Queen restaurants by 11 PM. I consider this move irrational and irresponsible. Clearly you have not anticipated the needs of a PMSing woman who realizes at 11:05 PM that she must have said Brownie Batter Blizzard to appease her late night chocolate craving!
When considering the amount of hormones involved, it would be in your best interest to maintain business hours at least until midnight. Profits would increase since your restaurants also offer french fries, thereby enabling the PMSer to kill two birds with one stone by providing both sugar and salt.
Instead, a certain PMSer (who shall remain nameless) was forced to make a U-turn from your restaurant and shop at the grocery store across the street where she stood in the baking aisle for 10 minutes considering the risk factors of contracting salmonella from uncooked brownie batter before finally succumbing and purchasing Dreyer's Double Fudge Brownie ice cream (and a bag of frozen tater tots) which is just not the same. In addition the aforementioned PMSer made other unplanned purchases including, but not limited to, apple flavored Fanta - which is cheaper than Martinelli's, the virgin booze of choice - in order to drown her Brownie Batter sorrows in a plastic cup once in the comfort of her own home.
Considering your poor planning and lack of foresight, I think it only fair that you reimburse the previously mentioned purchases and provide the poor woman with a couple of free coupons for future use. My receipt is enclosed.
Sincerely,
Ima Craven Sweets
7 comments:
Amen. I think we should start a petition. Can't forget the hormone-driven preggos out there, either.
They were advertising they're chocolate raspberry truffle blizzard last month - luckily I saw the commercial around 8 so Dave could get there before closing.
and it's totally bugging me that I typed "they're" and not "their".
Shiiiizzzz... why am I in Russia NOW?!?! That looks like the most amazing thing EVER and I can't have it. Not because of closing times, but because Russia hasn't discovered the beauty of Dairy Queen yet. And.. they don't even have brownies here. Or even chocolate chip cookies. Or normal cake. I KNOW!!! I don't know HOW I'm surviving.
That brownie batter ice cream thing sure as hell better still be there when I get back!!
Seriously I think you need to send this to them and I bet they would give you some coupons. It is not like you live in Podunkville like me so they should stay open later.
Have you tried the Oh Fudge shake from coldstone? THAT is delish. And I think they have brownie bits there. You could make your own brownie blast.
Or do you not have a coldstone either??
HAHA! I agree with commenter #4...you should SO send this to them! It is so flippin' hillarious!!! You made my day!
Thank you for making my day once again. You are HILARIOUS!!! I know how the Lisa must be feeling in Russia because we are in Ireland and we have not had the chance to have any GOOD icecream...cannot wait to eeat at Dairy Queen again!
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